it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
