After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
