You're my little dorito
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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