shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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