You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
