What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
