Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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