Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
