if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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