Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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