the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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