People with herpes should wear stickers.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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