So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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