Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
