Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't deserve a penis
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
