I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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