Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He has the fingertips of a God
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
