went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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