ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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