The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
