I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
