I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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