weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We talked him into tasing himself.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Randomize
