I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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