I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just cut my nipple shaving
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
