Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
