the new term for farting is butt boxing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
