My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
