is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
