no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
