i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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