no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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