the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
