i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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