the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
