i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
