I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
