Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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