Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
