Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Come on in and take your pants off
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