My pussy is not your playground.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
