I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
