Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
