Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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