wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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