Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
