dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
