dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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