we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
