you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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