I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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