ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
