last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
