her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
