I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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