Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
