We need to rekindle our bromance
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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