Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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