Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My balls are so social today.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize