i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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